Masculine Theory

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I believe you can use dating apps. But your have to be raw & brutal.

Hi, I'm Joseph.

I’m first and fundamentally a teacher. I use an arsenal of different systems from the east to the west to guide men to self-actualisation.

I’ve always been of the opinion that nothing good can come out of dating apps.

I’ve made various videos on the subject. Several of which include data which suggests the primary purpose of these tools are validation. Meaning most users don’t using dating apps to date and find connections. They use it to stroke their already over-inflated heads.

“Look at all my matches, i’m very attractive”.

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I just want to know that I could have gotten one”.

Sad – it is true but not altogether surprising.

What is even more unremarkable is that the second usage of dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble etc is to find a warm body to help get themselves off. Crude, I know but that’s the reality of hook-up culture, it is not morally upstanding.

Behind the socially cushioned phrases like “i’m not looking for anything serious”, “i just want some fun” and “i’m keeping my options open” is the reality of using other people as a means of masturbation. Let’s call it what it is.

It is a difficult starting point for single men looking for something serious. Coming to grips with the fact that dating apps are more often than not a place for ego-validation and carnal satisfaction. This reality is why I advocate that most men do away with and bin them, especially due to the mental health ramifications.

I like you have felt the emotional pain of limited matches on these platforms, and even when you do find a suitable candidate the conversation is dry and the inevitable ghosting isn’t far behind.

It can affect your whole day and significantly influence your mood, which includes other areas of your life.

Now – i’m more recently of the opinion if you can tolerate this emotional rollercoaster, there are some options still available for serious users of online dating.

Raw, Direct, Transparent

The biggest mistake I found when marketing myself on these dating apps was self-censoring. I thought that it’s best to show very little of my personality in the attempt to appeal to the masses and therefore get more attention.

I was very bashful with information that would immediately disqualify me from people preferences. You know the kind of thing:

  1. Keto style diet
  2. Conservative
  3. Pronouns are stupid

You get the picture.

What I was failing to realise is by not being polarising, not being bold, I was attracting to wrong kind of people.

Let me ask you a question.

Is it better to have 20 matches that you have no aligned values with?

Or 5 matches that you do have commonalities with?

Of course the latter prevails every time.

Now I know that this seems like very basic common-sense. But the irony with common-sense is that it isn’t so much so. I would imagine that a good majority of you reading this, censor yourself in some shape or form in dating apps.

If you play video games, be specific about which one you love. If you’re not very outgoing, don’t lie. If you don’t drink, don’t be compelled to say you do for fear of being rejected.

Dating apps are for finding YOUR person. You are not going to do so by lying about you truly are.

In a time where everyone is trying to market themselves by bending the truth here and there, I believe your best offence is by being uncannily honest.

This was you add a dynamic that is so often missing on online dating apps which is connection.

Let’s be honest here. Women get the majority of the matches. However the type of woman you’re seeking isn’t only going to base her time investment on a soulless male model. Even if she does, you don’t want this kind of woman anyway. The experience will be short lived.

It is a fact that being more upfront will get you less matches, yes. However it will attract the right kind of people.

Drop your ego. Remember what you’re there for.

Speak soon.

Joseph.

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